When someone we love passes, the emotional weight of grief can be overwhelming. Amid this, families are often asked to make lasting decisions about memorials — something many have never had to consider before.
At Advanced Stone, we often hear the same quiet reflection from families after the process is over:
“I wish we had known more before we started.”
This blog is written for those navigating this delicate journey. Whether you’re planning in advance or designing a memorial for a recent loss, here are some insights that many families wish they had known sooner.
You Don’t Have to Decide Everything at Once
One of the biggest misunderstandings is the idea that a memorial must be designed immediately. In truth, there is time.
Most cemeteries allow several weeks or months before a permanent memorial must be installed. This breathing space allows families to:
- Reflect on what feels right
- Discuss options with loved ones
- Research cultural or personal traditions
- Organise finances or documentation
Taking time often results in more thoughtful, meaningful choices — and eases the pressure during a highly emotional time.
There’s More Than One Way to Honour a Life
Many families are surprised to learn just how many options are available when it comes to memorial design. Beyond traditional upright headstones, there are:
- Flat or desk-style plaques
- Mausoleums and family crypts
- Memorial gardens or sculptural elements
- Companion stones for couples or families
- Personalised inscriptions and imagery
Each design carries its own symbolism, and there is no single “correct” way to honour a loved one. Some families choose a simple granite plaque; others opt for a custom monument engraved with family crests, languages, or artwork. What matters most is that it feels meaningful to those left behind.
The Cemetery May Have Guidelines — and It’s Worth Checking Early
Every cemetery has its own set of rules regarding memorial sizes, materials, and styles. Some allow traditional upright headstones; others only permit plaques. Certain sections may be reserved for specific cultural or religious communities.
Families often tell us they didn’t realise how much these guidelines can shape their design choices. Speaking to the cemetery early — or working with a stonemason who understands local cemetery requirements — can prevent disappointment and delays down the track.
At Advanced Stone, we maintain strong relationships with Melbourne’s major cemeteries, including Springvale, Fawkner, and Melbourne General, to ensure every memorial we create aligns with the site’s expectations.
Cultural Traditions Can Be Honoured — Even in Modern Memorials
Many families wonder how to integrate cultural or spiritual traditions into a modern cemetery setting. The good news is: it’s possible — and often deeply appreciated.
Whether it’s using family scripts (such as Chinese characters or Vietnamese chữ Nôm), incorporating Buddhist or Christian symbolism, or designing around significant anniversaries and dates, thoughtful design can preserve what matters most.
We’ve worked with families across diverse communities — Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Greek, Italian and more — to create respectful tributes that reflect both heritage and individuality.
The Most Meaningful Details Are Often the Most Personal
Families often expect to make decisions about size, shape, or stone colour — but it’s the smaller touches that bring comfort.
A line from a favourite poem.
A phrase spoken often by the loved one.
A symbol that meant something to them — even if only understood by the family.
These quiet details carry immense emotional weight. And often, families tell us later that these were the decisions they felt most proud of.
You’re Not Alone in the Process
Finally, it’s worth saying: this is not something you have to figure out on your own.
A trusted stonemason isn’t just a tradesperson — they are a guide through unfamiliar territory. They will help with design, liaise with cemeteries, explain costs clearly, and help avoid unnecessary stress.
At Advanced Stone, we walk beside families from first meeting to final placement. We see our role not only as craftspeople, but as stewards of memory — helping each family create something lasting, beautiful, and filled with meaning.